Tuesday, August 28, 2007


He came to me today at the house, and he said "we have to stop meeting like this. Your husband is going to find out and be angry."
I of course knew right then that our affair was going to have to end. It's costing too much. The kids feel uncomfortable. We spend hours waiting for him to show up. Aaron would understand. He's been gone a long time. It was only natural that eventually this would happen again.................................
But I've decided the Pop-A-Lock man is getting too pricey. I am buying traveler's insurance.
Yes, that's right folks I spent an hour waiting for the man from Pop-A-Lock again. It's the same man almost everytime. At least he had a sense of humor as I handed him my 7th check of the deployment. It's $28.95 each time. I have spent over $200 in Locksmiths since Aaron left.
The affair is going to have to end.

Jay's First Day.

Well, this has been an adventurous two hours. My alarm failed to go off at 5:30 when I needed it to, and Jay was annoyed that his wouldn't stop. As I run frantically into his room at 6:45am wrapped in a pink bathrobe, he screams that he needs to get dressed as he stumbles out of bed like a drunk bum. All of the commotion wakes up sweet Emma Grace who looks like a poltergeist with her bed hed. Jay starts getting dressed which makes me realize that although very cute, my pink bathrobe isn't going to work for the first day. I run to my room like an olympic sprinter only to find NO panties. Generally I am excellent at Laundry, but I've been sick, so I have no clean laundry left. Thus, I have no panties.
Executive decisions had to be made. I still had lunch to pack and a bus pass to laminate. I don't know if it's called commando when girls go without undergarments or something else, but I had to do it. I can't even believe I am sharing this story.
So we are all dressed so that we look modest, even though I am not. I feed the kids, I pack a lunch and laminate the bus pass. We are off.
Then it happens. I realize how much wearing panties means. It's not just a functional item for me. It's like a burka for the Afghan women. No matter how skimpy they may be, panties make me feel modest. I am at least not showing my virginia. Instantly a wave of embarassment runs over me and I get a full body blush.
Jay says, "Do you have a fever again mommy?" Nope, but would it be alright if I just dropped you off at the door? "No mama I need you to walk me all the way to the classroom" Of all days to need your mama it's the one day she has no panties. So I walked in shame down the 2nd Grade hall, wondering if anyone one could tell. Walking down the hall, I realized that I was just as bad as the mom that parked in front of us that had a "support strippers" ribbon on her bumper. She's at least getting paid for her immodesty.
So I dropped Jay off, vowing to finish the laundry today, and a new appreciation for strippers.

Deployments

OK. Soo Aaron called today, and he should (should...meaning Congress doesn't do any more extending) be home the first week of December. Which means...
You know the deployment is over when.......

- you start to shave your legs again. - you notice that babies start to outnumber the number of soldiers on post- you have to give back the debit card- it takes two hours to get onto post and you live five minutes away- you actually start going to bed before 2 a.m. ...(but not necessarily getting any more sleep!)- your driving privileges have been instantaneously revoked- you use more than just the microwave in the kitchen- you trip over boots left in the middle of the hall - the laundry load triples!- Your king size bed suddenly feels small-You haven't watched Lifetime TV or Oxygen in over a week- You are eating a full course dinner every night - Your grocery bill triples (or quadruples) - you can't find the remote - you don't have to check the window and door locks 80 times before you go to bed- The sound of the doorbell doesn't produce a nauseating feeling- the cell phone is no longer a vital accessory - there are strange-smelling ACUs and PTs in your laundry room and you are THANKFUL for that- the TV seems to be stuck on either Spike TV or the video game channel- the garage suddenly becomes a place for social gatherings - it is no longer necessary to buy stamps in bulk, or stand in line to ask if the post office has anymore flat rate boxes- fitting as much as possible into one of the flat rate boxes is no longer a weekly challenge - missing a phone call is no longer the cause of a mild myocardial infarction- is it not so scary to see a strange car in your driveway when you get home from work- 2 words... birth control - the closet you finally got cleared out is once again in a shambles and you can't see the floor because of his gear.- you keep finding clothes on the bedroom floor that you know you didn't put there- you go to make the bed and there is someone else in it- by some miracle the oil in your car has been changed- the alarm has suddenly been readjusted to 3 a.m.- you don't eat leftovers anymore because there are none - you neglect some phone calls, because you're actually busy - they try to get you to stick your head out of the sunroof and "be TC"- you start watching NFL Today again even if you hate it, because what could be better, he's home! - pjs, what?- computers are no longer a lifeline- the postmaster no longer recognizes you by name- Your answering machines no longer say "If this is _______, I love you!!!- When the phone rings at 2 a.m., you know it's not for you!- When you stop taking cold showers because it helps the frustration and start taking cold showers because someone used all the hot water- suddenly you have little hairs all over your sink - When you stop buying groceries with instructions such as "Heat on high for 90 seconds and stir"- You have to check and make sure the toilet seat is down when you get up to pee in the middle of the night


So, I feel proud. There are only a few months. I have survived...
Homeschooling
2 kids with pneumonia
Breaking up with Kristy (a few times)
4 Birthdays
2 Thanksgivings
1 Christmas
2 Anniversaries
My dad's cancer
School
Emma's asthma attack
3 Trips to Florida

I did go gray, but Highlights are in. I've taken some classes, worked through some issues and I am ready for Aaron to come home. Please pray that I do not get pregnant while I am enjoying my "issue" free Homecoming.
Hmmm, how do I begin without scaring you away? I am Christine. Army wife to Aaron. Screamin' it loud and proud. He's the only one that calls me Christine. (Well, most of the telemarketers from Canada also call me Christine.) You can call me Chris.

I am 28, live in the great state of Texas, it is a state...not it's own country people. You know in Texas, children are required to honor the Texas Flag in addition to the American Flag... It goes like so, "Honor the Texas Flag, I pledge allegiance to thee Texas, one and indivisable." Hmmm, maybe all that pride is the reason there is no place like Texas?!

I have two kids...both really high-maintenence. I threaten daily to sell them to the next gypsy that crosses my path. They are afraid of gypsy and refuse to watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame. We have food allergies in our family. My little girl Emma is allergic to milk and eggs. We call ourselves Kosher Vegans. Just so you know...everything has milk and eggs in it. She's the amazing bubble baby. Everyone is afraid to touch her, but she's nice. Just as long as you do everything her way. Jay is my oldest. He's mostly boy. I say mostly, because he's not really the "grab all the barbies and turn them into POW's" kind of boy. He loves outerspace and God, which leads to some very interesting theories.

Aaron is in Iraq fighting in this endless war. Everyone is screaming get them out of there, but I would like to point out that we are just now, in 2007, beginning to pull ourselves out of Germany. We're still in Korea, and the only reason we aren't in Vietnam is because we weren't able to keep people alive long enough. I don't know why all of America, and all the military spouses, are surprised. I don't think that I support this war, but I did support getting rid of Saddam Hussein. We've cleaned that up, and it did need to be done, we can't leave them in the state that they are in. We are our brother's keeper whether everyone is on board or not.

Well, I love long hot baths, without little fingers under the door asking when my private time is up. I like cold, canned green beans. I love pink sunsets, but I hate the beach.